


Distractions

by winterbombyourface



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Drinking, Eventual Smut, M/M, Spiderman POV, Spiderman/Deadpool - Freeform, Squirrel-Pool Mentioned, tony stark mentioned - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-12
Updated: 2016-10-12
Packaged: 2018-08-22 03:16:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8270518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winterbombyourface/pseuds/winterbombyourface
Summary: This is placed after Deadpool- Too Soon Infinite #6 and during the Civil War for the Avengers.  Spider-Man and Deadpool are going through some stressful decisions right now.  They help each other out by ignoring all their problems together.





	

The snow sprinkled from the sky and slowly landed on his spandex suit. Another winter, another year...how long had he been doing this now? Must be six years, he just turned 21 years old and was still jumping around in spandex and taking care of small time burglars and thieves throughout his city. Tony Stark had offered him a job working with the Avengers full-time. This is a chance of the lifetime but the fear of being capable of doing what was asked crept fear up his spine every time he tried to not to think about it. Why was he doubting himself? He could take this opportunity and completely turn his life around. No more small crummy apartment where he barely could make ends meet. He doesn’t even have his heating turned on right now because he can’t afford the bill. He could finally focus on crime fighting and his experiments instead of running around the city trying to get good selfies of himself. The Daily Bugle had been killing him lately and he deserved to be respected instead of constantly hiding behind a mask and being dorky Peter Parker. That is where the problem lies though. He wouldn’t be able to hide behind his mask anymore. Tony Stark said he could join the Avengers if he agreed to the Superhuman Registration Act and made his identity public. His secret identity was extremely important to him and even though the people closest to him knew who he really is, he could not afford to let his enemies know. What would happen to Aunt May? Would she be okay? He had been going through this debate in his head for three days and still had not been able to find a solution. Taking a big breath, he attempted to clear his mind and stare up at the stars. The rooftops where always a good solace place for him to think out life altering decisions. As he stared up, he felt a presence nearby. His spidey sense was not tingling but the feeling of eyes on him was undeniable. Who knew who it was. This had started to be happening more and more often lately. Last time he didn’t say anything, Deadpool hid in the darkness for at least an hour. Tonight was different than the other times though. Peter really didn’t want to continue debating this topic over and over again. He needed a distraction and Deadpool was always perfect for that.

“Deadpool?” He questionably said while continuing to stare at the sky. After a long pause, he heard footsteps quickly coming up behind him.  
“Oh hey, ummmm, baby boy! I didn’t want to disturb you. Looked like you were in deep thought there and all that snow is just falling perfectly around your head. Mind if I take a perch next to you?” Deadpool ran over and sat on the ledge before it could be protested.  
“How long were you staring at me?” Spider Man exhaled.  
“I wasn’t staring! Just admiring an angel! What’s got you down? Why aren’t you out there beating up the baddies tonight?” Deadpool said while rocking his legs back and forth off the ledge of the roof.   
“I got a few earlier. Just have a lot on my mind. What are you doing on the rooftops?” Spider Man said while fidgeting and rubbing some snow off the side of the ledge.  
“Oh nothing of importance. Just had to take a look at a few things and make sure I got the right guy. He looks like an asshole. Even if I didn’t have the right information, I would take him out just for fun.” He said with a giggle and grabbed his phone out of his pocket.   
“You know I don’t want to hear about that Deadpool.”  
Deadpool began angrily texting and small growl came out from his throat. Spider Man had never heard the huge man have any sense of anger around him before. He began to think about the fact that Deadpool might be having a bad day too and that’s why he had ‘stumbled’ upon him sitting on the roof.  
“Something wrong there?” Spider Man said while finally turning his head and looking towards the red mask. Deadpool’s eyes were slanted and staring at the phone intensely. A call came in and he hit ignore on his phone quickly. Deadpool shot up and starting pacing behind him on the ledge. Spider Man turned around to get comfortable for the rant he was about to hear.  
“Yeah, actually! Everything is wrong! All my friends are being knocked off by some random assassin guy that I have no idea who he is! Howard the Duck is completely convinced it's Shiklah doing it because she tried to cook him for dinner. Shiklah would rather be banging around with the damn wolf man than me so I went and got my own place and now she has decided to file for divorce. I don’t remember telling her about divorce lawyers so I have no idea who told her that was an option. Now Doctor Strange is telling me that this crazy assassin might be some evil demon so it probably was my wife. So I look like an idiot to Howard the Duck and he won't answer my text. I decided maybe Squirrel Girl could help me even though I can’t stand her ass but when I went to her house there was a mix up. There was this hybrid of Squirrel Girl and I that was there so I obviously had to kill it because I am not paying child support but I still can’t find Squirrel Girl.” Deadpool stopped flailing his hands and let himself fall backwards onto the roof and started making snow angels. Spider Man sat on the roof with his legs crossed and didn’t say anything. He was glad that he had his mask on and the Merc with a Mouth couldn’t see his jaw hanging down in shock as he attempted to process everything that was just screamed out. His problem didn’t seem so bad all of a sudden.   
“Wow, ummmm, that’s intense. There’s a Squirrel-Pool? Is she like your actual daughter?” Spider Man rubbed the back of his neck in anticipation for the answer. Deadpool stopped his snow angel and stared at Spider Man with an eerily silent demeanor.   
“No, not my daughter! Teleporter mishap…..I promise!” Deadpool growled out while sitting up and starting to brush the snow off himself. Spider-Man laughed while standing up and offering a hand to Deadpool. “What’s bothering you Spidey?”   
“Iron Man wants me to become an official Avenger. Living in the Tower and the whole nine yards but I have to reveal my identity to the public.” Spider Man went and leaned himself against the wall with his arms crossed. He wasn’t expecting Deadpool to have any useful opinion but it felt good to get it out. He knew that the mercenary wouldn’t understand the importance of a secret identity since he shouts his name all over the place anyways. Sometimes being able to say it out loud instead of holding it in like he has been for the past three days allowed his stomach not to clench up at the thought.  
“Damn Spidey! Doesn’t Iron Man know that is kind of your thing. Why is he getting you all wrapped up in his drama? You should ask Jarvis. Jarvis is a badass.” Wade said while leaning next to Spider Man. Peter was surprised that Deadpool thought of that. Jarvis could weigh the pros and cons of the situation for him. He would have to do that later.   
“I don’t want to think about it anymore tonight. Want to go get some tacos or something?” Spider Man said and the merc jumped off the wall with squeal of disbelief.   
“OMG, is my little spidey widey asking me on an exclusive date with just the both of us to get my favorite type of food!? I am not even wearing my best suit! I will take you to the best place in town because you deserve it. Can I please ride your back? OMG, pretty please? With a cherry on top!” He exclaimed while frantically jumping around Spider Man.  
“No. We can walk.” Spider Man said while pushing himself of the wall and jumping off the roof to the ground. He waited while watching Deadpool climb down the fire escape as quickly as he could. Once he got down, they were on there way down the road walking towards some taco truck that Deadpool couldn’t stop raving about. Spider Man was actually having a good time listening to him go on about the craziness that had happened after him just wanting a Christmas card and how even Spider-Ham had shown up for it. The stories he had never seized to amaze Spider Man. They arrived at the taco truck and waited for their orders to be made. It was right outside a bar which made sense due to it being about 2am. Peter figured he could stay up a while. There was no way he was going to successfully get any sleep if he went home because everything that had been stressing him out would just root itself back into his conscience thoughts. They scarfed down there tacos while Deadpool tried to guess what Spider Man used for his webbing. He wasn’t getting anywhere close and the very unscientific terms were making Peter curl in pain from laughter. Deadpool stood up and threw away their trash while Spider Man sat there contemplating what to do next. He wasn’t ready to go home and he hadn’t laughed like this in a while. He had never actually spent this much time with Deadpool or really anybody in a while. He can’t remember the last time he had a night out.  
“Well I guess this is where you runaway from me until I find you all sad on another roof top, huh?” Deadpool asked with disappointment in his voice.  
“Ummm, actually, you want to go get a drink or something? I not quite ready to call it a night yet.” Spider Man said while standing up and meeting Deadpool over by the trashcans. Normally he wouldn’t want to be caught dead in his suit and having a drink. Especially with a known killer but Peter was really enjoying himself. It had been a long time since he had gotten into a funny banter with someone and he had never been to a bar. It could be something he regretted in the morning. People would probably think they were just cosplayers anyways.  
“You’re old enough to drink!? Oh thank god. I had been wondering and I needed some confirmation for that. I feel much less creepy about my obsession with that ass.” The red suited man huffed out like a weight had been lifted off his chest.   
“There is one problem. I can’t exactly show my I.D. or anything, you know secret identity and what not.” Spider Man said with the sudden realization that it might not be a good idea.  
“Oh baby boy, I got that covered. Let’s go see Weasel.” Deadpool said while throwing an arm around his shoulders. They walked a few blocks from where the taco truck was located and entered through a shady looking door into a small bar. Everyone turned around to stare as Spider Man entered with the merc’s arm around him. Deadpool either didn’t notice or care as he carted him towards the barstools.   
“Weasel, buddy, pal!” Deadpool exclaimed while locking the man into a handshake. “Grab the Amazing Spider-Man and myself two brewsky’s why don’t ya?” Weasel gawked and stared towards Spider Man with his mouth open while still holding his hand out from the handshake that Wade had just released.   
“Spider Man, nice to meet you. Weasel is it?” He said while grabbing his outward stretched hand and giving it a firm handshake. Weasel was startled at the realization that he hadn’t moved and kept his wide eyes stuck on the red and blue clothed man. He quickly shook his hand back and reached down to grab the beers. The merc and hero peeled their mask up to their noses and took a sip while turning around to face each other.   
“Not many heroes come in here so you might get a few stares throughout the night.” Deadpool stated while he swiveled around on his bar stool. “Don’t worry spider babe, they know better than to screw with a friend of mine.” Deadpool continued.  
“Is this a bar for mercenaries? You realize what I do in order for me to be a hero, right... Deadpool?” Spider Man whispered into the his ear. He was hoping that none of these guys had something against him. He was ready to relax and have some fun tonight. Not have a hoard of angry criminals come after him.   
“I told you not to worry! Weasel for sure isn’t going to kick you out of his bar but he would kick any of these guys out in a second. Nobody is touching that Spidey ass but me!” He exclaimed again. They sat there and talked with Weasel who had a lot of questions and could not be happier to have a face to face sit down with the real Spider Man. After a few drinks, Spider Man was starting to not care anymore about the fact that he was in a bar full of criminals and was starting to feel a buzz. He had rarely drank before this night but he was of legal age now and refused to feel guilty.   
“You know what Deadpool, you are actually really cool! Why haven’t we hung out before this? I should give you my number.” Spider Man slurred as he pointed into Deadpool’s chest.   
“Wow, Spidey. I didn’t know you could be affected by alcohol but I guess being able to stick to walls and having an insane healing factor like mine are two separate things. You should totally give me your number though. That is an awesome idea.” Deadpool said enthusiastically while inching closer to the hero. He pulled out his phone and shoved it into Spider Man’s hand. Peter put his number in and asked for another round from Weasel who was more than happy to comply. After a lot more banter and hilarious stories from Weasel and Deadpool, Spider Man was starting to feel the alcohol take effect.   
“Deadpool, can we go home now? I’m tired and fuzzy brained.” Spider Man blurted out while starting to put his head on the bar.   
“Oh yeah, let’s get your ass home. Weasel put it on my tab.” Deadpool jumped up quickly realizing that the arachnid had drank more than enough while Weasel scoffed about Deadpool’s growing tab. He pulled Peter up while shoving an arm under the small hero and steading him to his feet.  
“Wow, my legs will not listen and everything is all swishy.” Spider Man said while trying to steady himself next to the merc. Deadpool lead them outside and then turned to talk to the smaller man.   
“Umm Spider Man, are you going to be able to make it home okay? Is there a law against drinking and swinging through the buildings? That seems kind of dangerous and not in the fun way. My apartment is nearby if you want to lay down for a little bit. I mean you don’t have to just a suggestion. I could totally make you some awesome pancakes.” Deadpool said while trying to stop Peter from falling over.   
“Yeah….whatever….pancakes and sleep. I like those things.” He slurred out while almost falling backwards.   
Deadpool slowly placed him over his shoulder which made a horrible feeling rise in his gut. He felt at any second all of the contents of his stomach were going to explode out of him. He couldn’t stop thinking about how good some pancakes sounded right now and how tall he felt laid over the merc’s shoulder. Normally he would be upset that he was being carried around but Deadpool’s bubble but and the promise of pancakes were the only things he could use to distract himself from the dizziness he was feeling. Deadpool was singing some old 90’s rap song that Peter had never heard of the entire walk. Before he knew it, they were in an apartment building and Deadpool was unlocking a door and trying to set the spider down. The quick motion proved to be to much for him and he was barfing all over him and Deadpool’s suits before he fell on the floor and blacked out.

****

Peter woke up to his phone ringing it’s harsh tone on the floor next to him. He grabbed it quickly and saw that it was Tony Stark. His head was pounding and with a sigh he answered.

“Are you okay!? Where are you? Has Deadpool hurt you?” Tony screamed into the phone. Spider Man blinked and realized that he was laying on a couch in a nearly empty apartment. His suit was laying on the floor next to his belongings but his mask was still on and pulled up to his nose. His memories started to come back from the night before. He was at Deadpool’s place and had drank more this his weight in beer. 

“Yeah, yeah, ummmmm I am fine. Why do you think Deadpool hurt me?” he stuttered back silently while still trying to get his bearings. 

“Well, I saw a picture online of Deadpool carrying you through the streets over his shoulder. Did he try to kidnap you?” Tony said with a calmer voice this time. Obviously relieved that Peter was fine.

“Nah, I was just having issues with the walking thing and he was helping me out. Don’t worry about it. It is nothing I can’t handle.” He drowsily spilled out.

“Ummmm, well okay then. Were you drugged?” Tony said with confusion in his voice.

“No. I gotta go. I will talk to you later.” Peter hurriedly got Tony off the phone before he could ask anymore personal questions.

Peter could now take a moment to try and remember why he was naked and in Deadpool’s apartment. He looked around and saw that there was only a couch, which he was laying on, a television and a playstation console. Behind him was a small kitchen and then a door on the other side which probably led to the bedroom. He slowly got up and tried not to make to much noise while putting his costume back on. It smelt freshly clean and the blood stain from fighting the day before was gone. Deadpool must have cleaned it for him. Then the realization hit him that he had thrown up all over both of them last night. He is going to die from embarrassment and Deadpool will never let him live this down. He heard some whistling coming from the bedroom and he tried to grab his belonging quickly so he could make a quick exit. Before he made it through the door, Deadpool busted out of his bedroom singing Hakuna Matata. Spider Man paused at the door and turned around to see Deadpool walking around the apartment with only his mask and the bottom part of his costume on. His ab muscles were glistening from his recent shower. The scars covered his entire torso seemed to not come to a stop anywhere on his body. Spider Man couldn’t even bring himself to focus on that due to the shock of seeing how well Deadpool was actually built. His broad shoulders, impressive huge biceps and his extremely cut hip bones were stopping Peter in his tracks. The only body he had ever seen that impressive was Thor’s but Deadpool seemed to have slimmer sides and was not quite as bulky as the God. Deadpool stopped and noticed that Spider Man was trying to escape the apartment and just stared back at him waiting for his move. Peter removed his eyes from admiring the man and realized that they had been standing there in silence for over a minute now.

“Hey, ummmm, hey, good Morning Wade.” He stuttered out while turning back towards the merc and walking towards the kitchen. “Sorry about last night. I am not much of a drinker and I really appreciate you taking care of me. You really didn’t have to do that and you even washed my suit….” Spider Man started trailing off and trying to fill the silence.

“Yeah, yeah no problem. Happens to everybody. So are you running off? I was going to make you those pancakes I promised last night.” He leaned onto the kitchen counter while trying to play it cool. Peter didn’t know what to do. He felt awkward and he had enjoyed last night but he really needed to go home. He was a little confused on why he was all of a sudden obsessing in his mind over Deadpool’s body. He couldn’t stay here and he needed a shower anyways. 

“You know, I would love to but I have this thing I have to go do and I really appreciate everything. I gave you my number right? Just text me whenever. Thanks again for everything.” He walked briskly towards the window and opened it then slung himself out. 

It took him a moment to realize where he was in the city and then he was able to swing back to his apartment and land into the small freezing living room. He quickly ran to the shower and turned on the hot water. Deadpool had held him the entire way home. He knew that he truthfully hadn’t fought back from it because it was the most human contact he’d had in years. Ever since the end of high school and Gwen’s death, he had sworn off dating or really any bit of social life. There wasn’t time with him going to school, working and being a vigilante. There had only been his Aunt. He slowly got in the shower and his mind started to drift to how he had been laying on those strong shoulders and his heat had been against the merc’s impressive pecs the night before. Peter’s hand slowly started to trail down to his throbbing erection. He wished he could have remembered Deadpool removing his suit. Slowly tracing his hands up his slender body, attempting to not disturb Peter. Had Deadpool been as turned on by his body as he was by his. He wished he could have woken up early enough to surprise Wade in the shower and feel his scarred body. Watching the water run down his back and caressing the bigger man’s curves that he rarely got to see. If his lower body looked anything like his chest then Peter knew it would be impressive. The thought of Deadpool kissing lightly up his neck sent him over the edge as he spilled into his hand. Peter’s cheeks turned red hot as he realized that he had just gotten caught up in a fantasy about Deadpool. He had been protesting even hanging out with this guy for months and now all of a sudden his body couldn’t get over the obvious attraction he had for Wade. He had enough issues at this point, the last thing he needed to be doing was thinking with his dick. At least he was right about one thing, Deadpool had definitely distracted him from thinking about Tony’s offer.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! This is my first fan-fic and please feel free to leave suggestions in the comments. Let me know what you think!


End file.
